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Wednesday, 30 September 2020 12:59

3 Things You Should Never Say to an Anxious Child (and What to Do Instead)

Present & Listening

It's normal to be anxious, and it's normal to react poorly to anxiety in others! Here are some tips if you're around anxious children.

It's normal and healthy for children (and adults for that matter) to feel anxious from time to time. However, when your child gets caught in the worry cycle, ruminating on his thoughts, this can lead to some pretty intense emotional toxicity. Suddenly, what started out as a little stress turns into a rather strong narrative of helplessness, fear, and insecurity. What your child is worried about will likely dissipate, but as a parent, it can be very frustrating and anxiety-provoking to watch!

How you react can make a difference. The things you say and don’t say can either inflame or soothe your worried child. Here are three statements you might want to consider avoiding, along with three things to do instead:

1. Calm Down. I don’t know about you, but when someone tells me to calm down when I am upset it only makes me feel worse. Here's the thing: When you tell children to calm down, immediately they are going to translate that into "This person doesn’t understand, they think I am overreacting, or they assume it is my fault." 

As a result, children may get frustrated and angry because they feel you are taking sides or judging how they feel. They may become concerned that you will attempt to take over the situation, which in their minds will only make matters worse. Children who are anxious often report feeling out of control. When you attempt to take control of a situation by telling them to calm down, this can make them feel like they have lost control.

Instead: Rather than telling children to calm down, adults ought to focus more on calming themselves down. Once you feel the hairs sticking up on the back of your neck or tension in your face, this is a sign that you are going into reactivity. When you tell your child to calm down or chill out, this is a way you are attempting to manage your own anxiety. Instead, focus on your exhale while squeezing the muscles you use to hold your pee when you have to go to the bathroom. This will bring the tension down.

2. Don’t Worry About It. This statement can come off as condescending. While it might be a quick fix when your children are young, as they grow older they will catch on to you. For example, if they see that you struggle with worry, they are less likely to take your advice seriously. When you say "Don’t worry about it," it puts a strain on children to try to figure out how to let it go. I don’t know about you, but whenever I focus on attempting to let go of something it somehow intensifies the problem.

Instead: Focus on calm behavior. For example, rather than trying to figure out what to say, be an illustration for what you want your child to focus on. In this case, with a worried child you want them to focus on calming down. So rather than saying "Don’t worry about it," instead listen with full attention in a calm way. 

3. Take a Breath. While it may seem like teaching your child to take a deep breath would be the right thing to do, the challenge is that anxious children are likely to take a dramatic inhale or resist their breath altogether. Breathing as a tool for calming down is a skill you develop. Without some guidance, children are likely to make their anxiety worse. This is because when you take a quick inhale, you can inflate the upper chest, making symptoms worse! This will make it less likely your child will use that strategy in the future.

Instead: Ease your way into breathing. For example, if your child is worked up, consider going for a stroll, swinging on a swing set, or offering your child a nice glass of cold water. Mindful practices such as these teach your child that calming down is a process not a quick fix. When we are quick to react with statements such as "Take a breath," this sends a message to your child that calming down should be quick and easy.

Rest assured that most of what your children are worried about now will at some point in the future be another hurdle they have crossed. While that might seem hard to picture when you are in the throes of anxiety, on the other side of all those worries are opportunities for you and your child to develop a sense of faith, trust, and patience for the process. So rather than getting caught up in what you will say, instead choose to be present to the situation without having to come up with the perfect words to change or alter the situation. Once the two of you feel settled and connected, then you can move on to coming up with solutions and ideas that may help.

By Sherianna Boyle
 

 

Published in breath + calm + mind
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Wednesday, 30 September 2020 12:42

Freeing Yourself Of Anxiety Feet First

 

Beautiful female feet at spa soaking for foot care

Getty/Pakorn_Khantiyaporn

“How can you help yourself feel a sense of calm, reassurance, and peace? The answer is at your feet. Literally.”

Have you been feeling a little uncertain lately? Perhaps you are nervous about where the world is heading and whether coronavirus will ever go away. 

You are not alone. As reported information changes daily, even the most knowledgeable authority figures are showing signs of uncertainty. So what do you do when things are moving in a direction you are unsure of? How can you help yourself feel a sense of calm, reassurance, and peace? 

The answer is at your feet. Literally.

For thousands of years, yogis and spiritual and religious leaders have looked at rituals such as washing your feet or walking barefoot to symbolize high consciousness, connection, honor, and purification. 

Think of your feet as the way you make contact with the ground, grounding you. Anytime you notice and pay attention to sensing and feeling the Earth, you become more present to the here and now. When practiced on a regular basis, paying attention to your feet can help you feel safe, calm, and centered. 

Here are four ways to get started:

1. Root. Since so many of us are now working from home, it can be easy to lie on your couch with your ankles crossed, reading and sending emails. Notice the workspace you have set up for yourself, and pay attention to whether you are spending long periods of time (hours) with your feet off the floor or crossed. Be sure to switch positions (whether you are watching television or working) so that your feet have more opportunities to touch the ground. 

2. Massage. Using nonsynthetic essential oils (such as lavender) or cream, take some time daily to massage your ankles and the soles of your feet. The soles of your feet contain many energy centers and points that, when activated, help you cleanse and receive healing Earth energy, which can help balance your nervous system by moving stuck energy and emotions naturally.

3. Stretch. Just like it’s important to stretch your shoulders and back, your feet also need to be lengthened and breathed into on a regular basis. Yoga poses such as Downward Dog & YogAlign Toe Weave will help.  Breathe into these poses for three to five breaths (inhale and exhale using the YogAlign SIP Breath). 

4. Soak. Invigorate and cleanse your feet by soaking them in warm epsom salt (or sea salt) water (you may also soak them in the ocean or a foot bath container). Salt has magnesium, which can be very calming and healing to the body. 

by Sherianna Boyle

 

 

 

Published in breath + calm + mind
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Wednesday, 22 May 2019 14:31

Slow Your Ageing Down By Managing Chronic Stress

How to relax for stress relief

By MiNDFOOD| MAY 21, 2019

 

Historically, relaxation has often been associated with “wasting time”, however, this is something we need to shake. Regular relaxation and stress management are important for physical and emotional health. Here are a few tips on how to relax your body and mind…

If your body’s stress response is triggered throughout the day and if it doesn’t know how to return to its regular state of relaxation afterwards, you may find yourself in a state of chronic stress.

Chronic stress is the type of stress that can do a lot of damage to your health, contributing a whole host of stress-related health problems, including heart disease, the common cold, and high blood pressure, just to name a few. Learning relaxation techniques can help you restore your body to its natural state when you’re feeling stressed and will help you deal with stress in a healthy way in future. If you can become less reactive to the stressors that you face and can recover more quickly from it if you do react, your body and mind will thank you for it.

Relaxation can occur when you’re taking some downtime, i.e. sitting in a comfy chair, reading a good book. But sometimes it’s helpful to have a more structured plan for relaxation as, in the face of stress, you’ll have a whole toolbox ready to help you recover. It will also mean you actively choose strategies that build resilience rather than merely distracting you from what’s creating stress for you on a given day. Learning to relax your body and your mind can be more effective than either one on its own, obviously.

How to relax

Here are some of the best relaxation strategies you can use to combat stress…

Breathe

Breathing exercises should be your first line of defence against stress. The beauty of these for relaxation is that they can be used anytime, anywhere, and they work quickly. They’re also very easy to master. Start with deep breathing. To do this, breathe in through your nose and feel your chest fill with air. Then, breathe out through your nose. As you do so, place one hand on your belly and another on your chest. Focus on feeling your belly and chest rise as you breathe in, and fall as you breathe out.  

Meditation

How to relax: Meditation

The wonderful thing about practising meditation is that it allows you to “let go” of everyday worries and literally “live in the moment.” People who meditate regularly report improvements physically, mentally, and spiritually, using it as a technique to not only combat stress but prevent it in the first place. To begin a meditation practice, you will need to find a quiet spot, away from the phone, television, friends, family, and other distractions. Meditation practices often involve learning breathing or mantra techniques. Initially, your mind may wander when you first start meditating, but by training your mind to focus on the moment, you will feel relaxed and more centred. Most experts recommend meditating for about 20 to 30 minutes at a time. Beginners may find it difficult to meditate for this length at first, but don’t despair. It will become easier once you are meditating regularly.

Music

Playing music is a great way to relieve stress and promote relaxation. When at work, keep a pair of headphones at your desk so you can enjoy your music for yourself. This technique often helps to provide a safe space to help you to recharge, even if you are in a room full of people. Because music brings real benefits in terms of wellness (music therapy is a growing field), it can be conveniently used effectively for relaxation as well. 

Exercise

How to relax: Exercise

It may seem that exercise is the opposite of relaxation, but a good workout can actually make you feel more relaxed afterwards for a few reasons. First, working out can be a good way to release stress and blow off steam. Second, the endorphins released during a good workout can aid relaxation quite nicely. Additionally, exercise can get you into a state of flow where it’s difficult to stay stressed—your body has to move toward relaxation as your stress response begins to reverse.

Have Fun

Yes, these relaxation methods don’t all have to be clinical and practised. Letting loose and having fun with your family and friends is an excellent way to relieve stress and experience relaxation. Most people don’t prioritise this as an important part of life—they don’t fit time for it in their busy schedules because they don’t realise the value of fun for balance as well as physical and emotional health. So schedule some downtime in your calendar, it’s just as (if not more) important than any other pressing matter.

If you focus on stress management regularly, in a relatively short time you can learn to more easily relax when you need to, and build resilience toward stress.

Read more: A relaxed body promotes healthy eating

Published in breath + calm + mind
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Wednesday, 23 May 2018 08:37

3 Lifestyle Hacks to Dampen Inflammation

3 Lifestyle Hacks to Dampen Inflammation

3 Lifestyle Hacks to Dampen Inflammation  

By Jennifer Weinberg

Inflammation is a natural and needed process in the body; it is part of an effective immune system response. The body uses beneficial acute inflammatory reactions to direct blood flow, immune cells, and nutrients to areas in need of healing, such as wounds and infections. But when inflammation gets out of hand or occurs in the wrong place, it can result in tissue damage, hormonal imbalances, and even death.

The body releases chemicals, hormones, and other mediators to bring about and direct an inflammatory response. You have likely experienced the pain, redness, immobility, swelling, and increased temperature that occur when your body initiates acute inflammation in response to a cut or infection. On the other hand, chronic insidious inflammation often occurs deeper in the body where the signs may not be as obvious right away.

How Chronic Inflammation Affects the Body

Chronic inflammation may result from the failure to eliminate the cause of an acute inflammatory response, such as an infection, an autoimmune disorder where the body mistakenly attacks normal tissue, or exposure to internally or externally generated toxins or irritants. These inflammatory processes can also be triggered by chronic food allergies and sensitivities, imbalances of bacteria and fungi in the gut, constant psychological or physical stress, and environmental toxicity.

When these inflammatory chemicals circulate in the body over time at a certain level, they can disrupt normal function and cause damage. This may result in symptoms of fatigue, pain, fever, and psoriasis. Over time, chronic inflammation may contribute to many lifestyle-related disorders, including:

Lifestyle Strategies to Balance Inflammation

Like many chronic conditions, the development of inflammation-related disorders is often influenced by lifestyle choices. There are some powerful steps you can take to optimize your lifestyle habits and build abundant health. Since each body and lifestyle is unique, always check with your healthcare provider before making major changes. Consider some of these strategies to reduce chronic inflammation and prevent future disease.

1. Fill Up with Fresh, Real Foods

Adopting an anti-inflammatory diet is a good start to keeping chronic low-level inflammation at bay. To keep inflammation levels in check and blood sugar levels stable, it is important to eat real, whole foods without added, refined sugars, processed carbohydrates, and artificial ingredients.

An anti-inflammatory diet that is rich in a wide variety of colorful organic vegetables, natural fiber, essential phytonutrients, and probiotics can help to nourish a healthy microbiome and squelch excess inflammation.

There are also some specific foods that have anti-inflammatory properties:

  • Berries
  • Dark leafy greens including kale and spinach
  • Cold-water fish such as salmon and mackerel
  • Spices like ginger and turmeric
  • Herbs like basil and parsley
  • Organic extra-virgin olive oil
  • Naturally fermented foods like raw sauerkraut and supplements like probiotics

2. Reduce Your Stress Levels

Your levels of chronic inflammation are also highly influenced by stress. Like inflammation, stress is a normal process that your body uses to protect you, but too much ongoing stress can become harmful and contribute to chronic inflammation. Relentless emotional, physical, and psychological stress weakens the immune system and promotes unchecked inflammation.

Research suggests that chronic psychological stress results in the body losing its ability to regulate the inflammatory response. The stress response involves the release of hormones, like cortisol, which help to prepare the body to fight or flee a perceived threat.

Immune cells are also influenced by cortisol. In normal amounts, cortisol seems to influence immune cells to limit and regulate the acute inflammatory response. But when immune cells are chronically exposed to stress hormones, they become insensitive to the normal regulatory effects of cortisol, and inflammation can become out of control.

People who respond to stress with anger and hostility are also at risk for increased inflammation and heart attacks. Unhealthy coping strategies such as smoking, alcohol use, and overeating can worsen the impact of chronic inflammation and contribute to the risk of chronic diseases.

Instead, opt to cope with stress in a way that soothes the mind and body.

3. Remember Your Oral Health

Keeping your mouth clean and healthy not only results in great oral health, it can also help reduce your overall levels of inflammation. Good dental hygiene keeps bacterial levels in the mouth under control and gums healthy so that bad oral bacteria do not escape into the bloodstream and trigger inflammation.

Consider incorporating some lifestyle habits that help to maintain good oral health.

  • The mouth needs fat-soluble vitamins, like D and K, along with the right balance of minerals, like calcium, phosphorous, and magnesium, to stay healthy.
     
  • Tongue scraping (jihwa prakshalana) is an Ayurvedic self-care practice to support oral hygiene. It reduces undesirable bacteria and volatile sulfur compounds, which are linked to bad breath, dental decay, and inflammation.
     
  • Oil pulling is another Ayurvedic self-care ritual that can benefit oral health. Use one tablespoon of organic sesame or coconut oil and squish it around your mouth for 15 to 20 minutes before disposing of it in a trashcan (avoid spitting it in your sink as it may cause clogs).

Use these lifestyle practices to allow your nervous system, mind, and body to stay balanced and keep inflammation in check!

*Editor’s Note: The information in this article is intended for your educational use only; does not necessarily reflect the opinions of the Chopra Center's Mind-Body Medical Group; and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health providers with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition and before undertaking any diet, supplement, fitness, or other health program.
 
Thanks www.chopra.com for the article.
 
Published in wellness + nourish + move
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