Canggu, Bali
Buddhist Monastery, Banjar, Bali
Yogi at Hindu Monastery, Kauai, Hawaii
Displaying items by tag: mindfulness
When Mindfulness Fails You: Tools for Managing Anxiety
By Julie Peters
It’s 4am. I’m spiraling deep into what I call the “nightmare fantasy”: imagining the absolute worst possible scenario, how I would react, what would happen next, and spiraling on and on into the hell of my imagination.
I have an anxiety disorder that is mostly managed in large part thanks to yoga and meditation. Every now and then, however, something tips a few pebbles off my anxiety cliff and suddenly I’m in a 4am avalanche.
On this particular sleepless night, I could see myself overreacting. I thought, “You’re overreacting. Calm down.” I also know, though, that fighting like this can make the situation worse. So I stopped fighting. Then I went so deep down the catastrophizing rabbit hole that I bolted up and actually screamed out loud.
Has anyone ever told you to “just stop worrying?” In the yoga world, we can get the message that all we need to do for a happier life is to think positively, and if you ever have negative thoughts, you’re doing it wrong. From the Tantric yoga perspective, however, all experiences, including uncomfortable ones, have value, and there’s danger in only focusing on what’s pretty and sweet. Trying to convince yourself that everything is finewhen it’s not exacerbates, rather than abates, anxiety. You can’t “just” stop worrying.
Stress reactions come from your amygdala, the primal part of your brain that governs your nervous system. Your prefrontal cortex is the rational, conscious part of your brain. When you try to force yourself to calm down, your prefrontal cortex is trying to overpower your amygdala, which only ramps up the primal fear response. You can’t tell your amygdala what to do.
You can, however, acknowledge the disconnect. Yoga and meditation are useful in that they can teach us to wake up what’s called the buddhi mind, the mind that observes the mind. I had this part down: I could see the problem, but couldn’t stop it from happening. I needed some new tools, and I wasn’t getting them from yoga.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is a technique that works from the premise that thoughts affect feelings which affect behaviours which affect thoughts and so on. It’s very challenging to change your feelings, but you can work with your thoughts and behaviours. When I see myself beginning to spiral, I can ask myself:
What thought is contributing to this feeling?
What evidence do I have that this thought is true?
What else could be going on?
What evidence do I have for those alternatives?
When I see myself internally reacting as if my worst fear is already happening, these questions can help me pause my nightmare fantasy and remember that other interpretations are also valid. I can hold the different possibilities and wait to react until I have more information. I can know that it’s okay to not know.
It’s not uncommon for yogis like me to get disillusioned when the initial euphoria of the practice wears off. The world doesn’t stop being confusing and cruel just because we decide to think positively. Stepping outside of my practice to learn these new techniques has actually returned me to my yoga: fundamentally, yoga teaches us to stay present with a rich and varied world and to honor the beauty and ugliness both inside and outside of ourselves. For me, this is much more interesting than insisting on living in a place that’s crowded with rainbows and flowers. This way, I can get back to sleep. Then I can do my yoga in the morning.
3 Things You Should Never Say to an Anxious Child (and What to Do Instead)
It's normal to be anxious, and it's normal to react poorly to anxiety in others! Here are some tips if you're around anxious children.
It's normal and healthy for children (and adults for that matter) to feel anxious from time to time. However, when your child gets caught in the worry cycle, ruminating on his thoughts, this can lead to some pretty intense emotional toxicity. Suddenly, what started out as a little stress turns into a rather strong narrative of helplessness, fear, and insecurity. What your child is worried about will likely dissipate, but as a parent, it can be very frustrating and anxiety-provoking to watch!
How you react can make a difference. The things you say and don’t say can either inflame or soothe your worried child. Here are three statements you might want to consider avoiding, along with three things to do instead:
1. Calm Down. I don’t know about you, but when someone tells me to calm down when I am upset it only makes me feel worse. Here's the thing: When you tell children to calm down, immediately they are going to translate that into "This person doesn’t understand, they think I am overreacting, or they assume it is my fault."
As a result, children may get frustrated and angry because they feel you are taking sides or judging how they feel. They may become concerned that you will attempt to take over the situation, which in their minds will only make matters worse. Children who are anxious often report feeling out of control. When you attempt to take control of a situation by telling them to calm down, this can make them feel like they have lost control.
Instead: Rather than telling children to calm down, adults ought to focus more on calming themselves down. Once you feel the hairs sticking up on the back of your neck or tension in your face, this is a sign that you are going into reactivity. When you tell your child to calm down or chill out, this is a way you are attempting to manage your own anxiety. Instead, focus on your exhale while squeezing the muscles you use to hold your pee when you have to go to the bathroom. This will bring the tension down.
2. Don’t Worry About It. This statement can come off as condescending. While it might be a quick fix when your children are young, as they grow older they will catch on to you. For example, if they see that you struggle with worry, they are less likely to take your advice seriously. When you say "Don’t worry about it," it puts a strain on children to try to figure out how to let it go. I don’t know about you, but whenever I focus on attempting to let go of something it somehow intensifies the problem.
Instead: Focus on calm behavior. For example, rather than trying to figure out what to say, be an illustration for what you want your child to focus on. In this case, with a worried child you want them to focus on calming down. So rather than saying "Don’t worry about it," instead listen with full attention in a calm way.
3. Take a Breath. While it may seem like teaching your child to take a deep breath would be the right thing to do, the challenge is that anxious children are likely to take a dramatic inhale or resist their breath altogether. Breathing as a tool for calming down is a skill you develop. Without some guidance, children are likely to make their anxiety worse. This is because when you take a quick inhale, you can inflate the upper chest, making symptoms worse! This will make it less likely your child will use that strategy in the future.
Instead: Ease your way into breathing. For example, if your child is worked up, consider going for a stroll, swinging on a swing set, or offering your child a nice glass of cold water. Mindful practices such as these teach your child that calming down is a process not a quick fix. When we are quick to react with statements such as "Take a breath," this sends a message to your child that calming down should be quick and easy.
Rest assured that most of what your children are worried about now will at some point in the future be another hurdle they have crossed. While that might seem hard to picture when you are in the throes of anxiety, on the other side of all those worries are opportunities for you and your child to develop a sense of faith, trust, and patience for the process. So rather than getting caught up in what you will say, instead choose to be present to the situation without having to come up with the perfect words to change or alter the situation. Once the two of you feel settled and connected, then you can move on to coming up with solutions and ideas that may help.
Less Stress & Anxiety
Spring Clean Your Mind With Meditation, Increase Your Awareness & Take Back Your Control
Mummy Micro Moments
Now that the kids are back at school, take a few moments for yourself to ground & breathe.
Benefits of Balancing Asanas are many:
Helps induce physical balance
Develops a balanced mind
Enhances concentration
Balances the nervous system
Relieves anxiety & stress
Brings your focus back to the breath & present moment
Opens up the front flexor line of fascia to help create alignment
Activates your psoas muscles with the rest of your abdominal core muscles for a strong, stable core
Helps with natural spinal alignment
Helps to release unnecessary tension you have invited in
Yoga is not how high you can hold up your leg or deep you can get your squat. It is about connection with the breath & staying true to you own practice, what ever that is today.
Set yourself achievable goals that don’t overwhelm you ie two minutes twice daily, because you deserve it!
Just Jump! The Universe Supports You
Authentic Yoga is always a spiritual discipline ... even when the focus is on the body." Georg Feuerstein
Benefits Of A Functional, Therapeutic YogAlign Class:
- Empowering people, no matter what age & fitness level
- Develops strength, flexibility & balance
- Elongates our muscles, re-organises the matrix of the fascia
- Efficiency in energy utilisation
- Stabilises where we were too mobile & mobilise where we were too stable
- Brings you into the joy of the present moment
- Helps release physical, mental, emotional, spiritual & energetic blocks
- Re-programmes the brain to set a new tension in the body
- An expression of self love to maintain your optimal wellness
Begin your self care practice by booking a class today - click on 'YogAlign' in menu then 'Booking' - join me for either a small class (maximum 4) or a private session. All yoga mats & props provided ... just play & walk away ;o)
Love Leonie x
See The Beauty Everywhere
Witnessing this beauty generates love
Be pure love
If you need some guidance in managing your stress levels during this time of transition, I am seeing clients in my studio for private consultations, now we are in level two.
Message, phone or email if you would like to know more.
In love & light Leonie
A Little Free Self-Nourishment @ Sweat Sunday - YogAlign Yoga At Lululemon Mt Maunganui
Slow Your Ageing Down By Managing Chronic Stress
How to relax for stress relief
Historically, relaxation has often been associated with “wasting time”, however, this is something we need to shake. Regular relaxation and stress management are important for physical and emotional health. Here are a few tips on how to relax your body and mind…
If your body’s stress response is triggered throughout the day and if it doesn’t know how to return to its regular state of relaxation afterwards, you may find yourself in a state of chronic stress.
Chronic stress is the type of stress that can do a lot of damage to your health, contributing a whole host of stress-related health problems, including heart disease, the common cold, and high blood pressure, just to name a few. Learning relaxation techniques can help you restore your body to its natural state when you’re feeling stressed and will help you deal with stress in a healthy way in future. If you can become less reactive to the stressors that you face and can recover more quickly from it if you do react, your body and mind will thank you for it.
Relaxation can occur when you’re taking some downtime, i.e. sitting in a comfy chair, reading a good book. But sometimes it’s helpful to have a more structured plan for relaxation as, in the face of stress, you’ll have a whole toolbox ready to help you recover. It will also mean you actively choose strategies that build resilience rather than merely distracting you from what’s creating stress for you on a given day. Learning to relax your body and your mind can be more effective than either one on its own, obviously.
How to relax
Here are some of the best relaxation strategies you can use to combat stress…
Breathe
Breathing exercises should be your first line of defence against stress. The beauty of these for relaxation is that they can be used anytime, anywhere, and they work quickly. They’re also very easy to master. Start with deep breathing. To do this, breathe in through your nose and feel your chest fill with air. Then, breathe out through your nose. As you do so, place one hand on your belly and another on your chest. Focus on feeling your belly and chest rise as you breathe in, and fall as you breathe out.
Meditation
The wonderful thing about practising meditation is that it allows you to “let go” of everyday worries and literally “live in the moment.” People who meditate regularly report improvements physically, mentally, and spiritually, using it as a technique to not only combat stress but prevent it in the first place. To begin a meditation practice, you will need to find a quiet spot, away from the phone, television, friends, family, and other distractions. Meditation practices often involve learning breathing or mantra techniques. Initially, your mind may wander when you first start meditating, but by training your mind to focus on the moment, you will feel relaxed and more centred. Most experts recommend meditating for about 20 to 30 minutes at a time. Beginners may find it difficult to meditate for this length at first, but don’t despair. It will become easier once you are meditating regularly.
Music
Playing music is a great way to relieve stress and promote relaxation. When at work, keep a pair of headphones at your desk so you can enjoy your music for yourself. This technique often helps to provide a safe space to help you to recharge, even if you are in a room full of people. Because music brings real benefits in terms of wellness (music therapy is a growing field), it can be conveniently used effectively for relaxation as well.
Exercise
It may seem that exercise is the opposite of relaxation, but a good workout can actually make you feel more relaxed afterwards for a few reasons. First, working out can be a good way to release stress and blow off steam. Second, the endorphins released during a good workout can aid relaxation quite nicely. Additionally, exercise can get you into a state of flow where it’s difficult to stay stressed—your body has to move toward relaxation as your stress response begins to reverse.
Have Fun
Yes, these relaxation methods don’t all have to be clinical and practised. Letting loose and having fun with your family and friends is an excellent way to relieve stress and experience relaxation. Most people don’t prioritise this as an important part of life—they don’t fit time for it in their busy schedules because they don’t realise the value of fun for balance as well as physical and emotional health. So schedule some downtime in your calendar, it’s just as (if not more) important than any other pressing matter.
If you focus on stress management regularly, in a relatively short time you can learn to more easily relax when you need to, and build resilience toward stress.
Read more: A relaxed body promotes healthy eating
Pure Presence
Remember the power of presence. The past is the past and the future unscripted - but we so often miss "the power of now" by dwelling on both. Reduce your speed and luxuriate in this full moon's earthy and all-natural vibe.
Contact Leonie Main
m: +64 (0) 274 96 96 33
19B Golf Road, Mount Maunganui 3116, New Zealand
Facebook: Gypset Life